An Insight into Jezebelzombie

My anxiety is going to be the death of me. It’s frustrating to lose sleep over things that are absolutely out of my control, that I shouldn’t be worrying about in the first place. Finding Fiona dead in March has had a lasting effect. It’s never more evident than nights like this where I wake up and my sleep fogged mind tells me that Grim or Phantom are dead. My heart jumps in my throat and I find myself slamming down on the bed next to them or shaking them to get a reaction. The poor animals just look at me like I’m insane and I feel like an idiot. I completely lose my head over all of this. I think (far too often) about when they won’t be here with me anymore and it sends me into even more panic. I don’t want to worry about this all the time. They are still young and should have long, happy, and healthy lives ahead of them. The thought creeps in and stays there. It doesn’t help that Fiona wasn’t old, she should have had a long life ahead of her, as well. She should never have died. She was fine when I left for work… She was fine when Brian left for work. She looked like she was sleeping until I realized she wasn’t breathing and her eyes were slightly open. I think that’s another thing that makes me worry about the animals, she looked peaceful and alive. Well, now that I’ve gotten this off my chest, I’m going to try my hand at sleeping again. Goodnight and sorry for the pathetic rant.